The Finish Line! (Graduation)

Throughout the 2 and half months he was at boot camp, i learned a lot about myself and about the relationship Ty and I have. I discovered a lot of really good things about both that i'm not sure i would have discovered if we hadn't gone through something like that, so for that i am forever grateful for the experience-- but i will also say that i've never wanted a period of time to end so badly. After what seemed like years, the time had finally come. It was time to pack up and fly down to San Antonio, TX for Tyler's graduation from basic military training! I honestly can't even put into words how excited I was! This may sound a bit odd for somebody that had been dating someone for 2 years, but i found myself being nervous to see him and be around him again. It was like i was going on my first date with him all over again. It was very strange, but thinking back on it i think those feelings were a result of myself knowing that he had changed so much since February 3rd. The Military has a reputation of braking people down and building them back up into who they want them to be, and i guess you could say i was nervous about what they had built him up to be. I was nervous that dear old Uncle Sam had taken away the things i loved most about my best friend. It wasn't until a couple hours after seeing him for the first time that these nerves and worries were fully shaken off.

It was Thursday morning of April 9, 2009 when Tyler's parents and I piled into the car at some ridiculous hour in the morning to head to the base (mainly because i couldn't wait any longer) . Sure enough, we were there a bit early but as pathetic as it sounds, i was creepily enjoying knowing the fact that i was in the same vicinity as Tyler. Just knowing that he was probably somewhere within a mile radius of me was oddly comforting to me. I know you are probably thinking "this girl is nuts and she needs a life" but until you go through what i had gone through, you probably wouldn't understand. Perhaps i am a bit pathetic in some senses, but rather than calling it pathetic i guess i would like to call it 'lovesick'. I like that better :) So anyways--after a long morning of waiting around, oh and being teased to the max by the airman's run, it was time for the coin ceremony. The coin ceremony was when Tyler officially became an Airman in the United States Air Force. It was after this ceremony that we would get to see him for the first time. Little did we know, he would also be named as an "Honor Graduate". This was some major icing on the cake! If you ask Tyler, him being an Honor Grad doesn't mean he's anything too special (but that's just because he is absurdly humble)...so that's where i come in! I brag about him enough to cover both of us. Graduating as an Honor Grad basically means you are perfect and amazing at being a little airman :) haha, i'm embarrassing him, but really...being an Honor Grad is a huge honor. I have honesty never been so proud of something because i knew that he deserved every bit of that name more than any other person on that platform. I may be a bit partial though ;)

Anyways- on to that first hug. Well, i can't think of any other way to describe it other than that it was pure bliss. The whole weekend was pure bliss for that matter. But really, that first hug was one of the best moments ever. I can still remember that moment and everything about it down to a tee because it was that awesome. The first hour i was with him felt slightly strange to me because as weird as it sounds, i had to literally get used to being next to him and being able to talk to him face to face again. As minuscule as that sounds, it was a bit of an adjustment for a few minutes. I usually don't like any type of 'adjustment', but i will say that i loved every second of that particular adjustment. haha. Right off the bat i noticed he had acquired a heightened sense of gentleman behavior. I enjoyed this greatly to say the least. This was one of the many nice qualities that the military instilled in him. He had always been a gentleman, but there is a difference between a civilian gentleman and a military made gentleman. I don't really know how to describe it, but there is a profound difference. After being with him for a couple of hours, all of my worries that i had previous to seeing him again had washed away. Yes, the military had changed him but the pieces of him that i had always loved so much were still there. The changes boot camp made in him were all good changes from what i could see, and that was such a relief to me.

I don't remember when exactly we discussed what job he got placed in, but i do remember what that conversation was like. I remember asking him right off the bat what job he got and he wouldn't tell me right away. I instantly got the impression that it was one of those "you should sit down for this" type of conversations. Great. Well, he finally spit out that he was placed in 'Munitions Systems' (if you want to know more about that, i would direct yourself back to Ty's page). Anything with munitions in it didn't sound like anything safe to me, but what exactly is safe right? After he explained what he would be doing, it took a minute to digest it because it was nothing like the job he wanted (and thought he would get). I would say one of the hardest things about being in a relationship with a serviceman is that everything about the military is so complicated and hard to understand. Having this conversation about his job would be the first time out of many more to come that i would run into this barrier. I just wanted to know exactly what he would be doing day in and day out...such a simple request...but he himself didn't even really know. This was an uneasy feeling, and it was a bit frustrating. It was frustrating to someone like me because i'm the type of person that doesn't deal with uncertainty too well. I've come to realize now that this is a quality i need to boot because the military is all about uncertainty.

The actual Graduation that was on Friday was awesome. If you've never been to a military graduation, you should make it one of your life goals. That's all i'm gonna say. Watching Ty march in with his flight was so cool. He was the best marcher there! But again, i may be a little partial ;) When the man came on the mic and said something along the lines of "Congratulations to the newest airmen in the united states air force" i was so so proud!

The rest of the weekend, although controlled greatly by the Air Force, was amazing. The best way i can describe those few days is that for the 10 weeks leading up to them it was as if i had been holding my breath, but once that weekend came it felt like i could finally breathe again. It was a nice feeling. A really nice feeling. The hours we got to spend with him on each day seemed to go by way too fast, but i quickly learned to just enjoy the time you do get and hold on to each and every moment. For an average couple, the moments that they get to spend together may be taken for granted, and Ty and I were just as guilty before he left, but i can confidently say that no moment him and i get to spend together throughout the next couple of years will be taken for granted. Throughout boot camp and during that weekend we realized how precious time is with one another. Each day we were able to see each other that weekend we subconsciously had a time ticker in the back of our heads for when we would be torn apart again. Even though this time ticker was always in the back of our minds, we just tried to ignore it and live fully in every second rather than thinking about how many hours we had remaining. We would have regretted it if we didn't.

The end of the weekend came all too quickly. The hour leading up to the time we would have to say goodbye was rough, but not as rough as the first time. We both knew what it was going to be like without each other and didn't have those blindfolds on. We also knew that it would be better this time because we now had the phone and the wonderful invention of the web cam. After all, there's not much else we could do than to think positively about the situation because there was nothing we could do to change it. He was now owned by the military, and as much as i would like them to, the military doesn't care one bit about my feelings or his for that matter. They are going to do with him whatever it is that will be best for them, not necessarily our relationship. It's us up against the military. Statistics tell us there's a better chance of seeing pigs fly than our relationship to last, but we're better than a statistic. Hopefully. Besides, i heard pigs do fly in Mountain Home, Idaho ;)

As i mentioned in a previous post, there has yet to be an invention of a time stopper so the clock did eventually hit 6:00pm. It was time to say goodbye. This part sucked, but saying goodbye was simply something we had to start to get used to because there were many more of them in sight for the future. I just squeezed him tight (a few more times than necessary probably) and rather than calling it a goodbye, we called it a "see ya later". Watching him walk away in his uniform made me feel so proud, but empty all at the same time.

Boot Camp: Tears, Letters, a Few Surprises.

His family and I piled into the car to head back. The mood wasn't very happy. He had told me to go into his backpack when we got back to the car to give his family the letters he had written to each of them, so once we got in the car I found them and handed them out. At the bottom of the pile was a letter with my name on it. I knew of the letters for his family, but I was not expecting one for myself because he had already done a lot for me to have for while he was gone (i'll talk about that in a little while). I briefly considered not opening it in fear that I would just start blubbering with tears, but if you know me at all you know that there was no way I could have saved that letter for later. Well, I was right. The blubbering tears began after reading the first sentence. Oh well...that wasn't going to be the first time in those 10 weeks that the whole Isherwood family would witness me at such a low point. It was a beautiful letter and I will always cherish it. I just remember the car ride back being pretty quiet. It was about 6 hours after saying goodbye in Portland that I got a phone call from a San Antonio Airport pay phone. It was Tyler scrambling to get one more goodbye in before entering ten weeks of hell. It was a quick phonecall, he didn't have more than a minute. I remember just saying that I loved him and to be strong, stand tall, and show them what he's made of. That's all I had time to say to be honest. So yeah, that was it. Our primary form of communication would be words on paper from there on out. That first night was the worst. I remember feeling a sense of emptiness that I have never felt before. It was a strange feeling and it was quite uncomfortable. I was really lucky in the sense that I had some amazing friends at school who were right there ready to help me get through it. Tyler had made me a DVD before he left that basically consisted of 10 chapters. A video recording of himself for each week he would be there. Each week i got to open the chapter that was for that specific week. The video clips consisted of Ty just talking to me. It was honestly the best thing he could have done for me for while he was gone. Just being able to pop that thing in and see him on the screen and hear his voice helped a lot throughout the time he was there. I watched the first clip on that first night because once again, I couldn't resist. It definitely provoked some more tears that I didn't think I had left in me and it was followed by my roommate Hannah crawling into my bed with me for the night. I don't know what I would have done without her and the other girls through those 2 and half months.

About 3 days after he arrived at Lackland AFB, he was able to call to provide us with his address. He had told us previously not to answer the call because he knew he would get emotional if he heard our voices while he was in such a vulnerable state. His voice message was very robotic and scripted. Lots of yelling in the background. He was allowed to spit out his address and nothing else. Oh, i'm sorry, he was able to say that he was "okay". It was progress though, because it meant that I could start sending the constant flow of letters. I was very devoted to the letter writing. I ended up writing one to him every night. I guess i just felt like it was the only thing i could do to help him get through it, and if that was the only thing i could do...dammit, i was going to do it right! 240+ pages of love and encouragement were sent from the little town of Farmington to the big city of San Antonio.

Anyways--The first couple of weeks were rough because he was not allowed to write until a couple weeks in. Honestly, i think it was rough because of the 'not knowing' factor. I was just always worrying about how he was doing, if he was okay, what he was thinking, if he had made any friends, if he was getting yelled at a lot...so many thoughts of HIM were going through my head day in and day out until i got word from him that he was doing okay. So yeah...besides the last few weeks of his time there when i had to get through the deaths of both of my grandfathers without him...oh, and the phone call from Ty in week 5 letting me know that he was deathly ill and had to be pushed back in training....i guess you could say those first two weeks he was gone were the hardest ones. After those first two weeks, i started receiving MY constant flow of letters and it got a little easier. Getting a letter from him made my day every time. The letters i got from him are priceless and i cherish every single one of them. This sounds a bit pathetic, but I would literally count down the hours until 2p.m. everyday because that is when mail came in. Okayyy-enough telling about how pathetic I am. Haha.

It was on valentines day that I received my first surprise from Tyler. I get a call from the mail room bright and early saying that I have a perishable item waiting for me in the mail room. Honestly, all I was thinking was, "oh geez, what kind of weird thing did mom decide to send me." Nope. That's not what it was at all. Thanks to "order-way-in-advance" online flower shops, I got a dozen roses from Tyler for the lovely commercial holiday accompanied with a little encouraging note from him. I loved it and had fun thinking that even though my boyfriend was on the other side of the country with no way of contacting me, I was still probably having a better valentines day than a lot of girls who had their boyfriend in the same town.

As for surprise number two...It was on February 20th that I got a phone call from him. If the flight somehow manages to 'impress' their Training Instructor, then they are allowed a quick phone call on the pay phones (this is rare). I was actually at his parents house that night having dinner, so it was perfect! I remember looking at my phone and seeing the weird number and thinking "COULD IT BE!?!?!" haha. I picked up the phone and heard Ty's voice on the other end. Like Ty said in his blog, that was the best phone call ever. I never thought that the words "Hi Baby" would ever make me cry so much. Tears of joy. We got to talk for a few minutes, and it was wonderful. Very rushed, but wonderful at the same time. I remember thinking that he sounded different, but I liked it. It seemed as though we were scrambling to say and ask all of the things we wanted. The time came to say goodbye, quicker than I had wanted, and it was hard because i didn't know when i would hear from him again. I quickly realized that goodbyes would be a big part of our relationship now that I had to scoot over enough to make room for the Air Force.
The time that he was at basic training was rough, but i did manage to find some positives. As many nights that I cried myself to sleep from missing him so much, I can honestly say that those 10 weeks made our relationship so much stronger. The phrase "distance makes the heart grow fonder" took on a whole new meaning for us. Being apart from each other to the degree that we were forced to be really made us realize how important we are to each other. Our love for each other was stronger then than it had ever been. Some may ask, "How is that possible if you couldn't even talk to him?" My response to that is that there is simply just something special about exchanging letters back and fourth with no other form of communication. I don't miss those two months he was at Basic Training at all, but I do miss the letter writing. I still send him a piece of snail mail every once in a while now even though he is mostly just a phone call away. I just like it.
Surprise number three happened on March 17, 2009. Our 2 year anniversary. I was invited to his parents house to have dinner that weekend. It was after dinner that i received my little surprise. Tyler's mom came out with a gift bag and said that it was from Tyler for our anniversary. Again, this was just another surprise I was not expecting. Who really expects gifts from people who are in Basic Military Training and can send nothing but letters? Just the card alone made the infamous tears come streaming out. Then it was on to the little box. After unwrapping it and coming to the conclusion that it was a 'shiny piece of love', also known as a diamond ring (NOT AN ENGAGEMENT RING), was quite the feeling for me. I had never owned a real diamond in my life. The ring was perfect and i just remember balling my eyes out saying something along the lines of "I just wish he was heeeeeeere! *blubber, blubber, blubber*" haha. Once again, my girly emotions got the best of me, but having the feeling that I was the luckiest girl I knew was a good feeling. Just knowing that Tyler had put as much forethought and effort into making me as comfortable as possible while he was gone was really great and made me realize how much he really loved me. It's a wonderful feeling and I'm very lucky to be loved as much as I am by him.

I could literally write a novel including many more events and happenings during this 10 week span and the effect it had on our relationship and myself personally, but i will refrain from that and just skip to the homestretch.

The last couple of weeks went by fast and slow at the same time. Fast because i was busy, but slow because, well, time always seems to drag when you are excited for something to come. It was Ty's graduation that I couldn't wait for. April 9, 2009 would be the day that I would get to see him again for the first time in 2 and half months...

Saying Goodbye (the first of many)

On February 3, 2009 I had to say goodbye to the person I had come to know as my best friend. This was not easy and at that time I didn't really know what I was about to get myself into. It was as if I had a blindfold on, not having any idea what the next 2 and half months would be like without him. Completely without him. I guess you could say I didn't fully comprehend the concept of going weeks without even hearing his voice. It was something I couldn't really wrap my head around, but at that point I was just bracing myself with attempts of having an open mind. It sounds quite miniscule to go 10 weeks without someone, but when that person is your best friend and at times your crutch, it was quite difficult. Just imagining what the next 10 weeks would look like, saying goodbye just flat out sucked. There is no pretty word I can use to describe that day. It is a day I will always remember. I can still remember everything about it. The weather that day, the car ride to portland, the room we sat in at MEPS, the smells, what I was wearing, what HE was wearing, and I can even bring back the same feeling I got in the pit of my stomach that day if I just simply think back to it. I remember sitting in that little room waiting to say our goodbyes. It was torture really. I wanted nothing more than for time to go slowly, but at the same time I wanted to just get it all over with. The anticipation killed me.  Well, as you know a "time stopper" has yet to be invented, so yes, the time did come to say goodbye. I don't think i've ever squeezed him so hard. Fighting our tears, we succeeded in the first of many goodbyes we will endure in this roller coaster of a chapter. It was off to boot camp for him, and 10 weeks filled with many ups and downs for me...

"BM" (Before Military)

Just a Peek into our lives before the military...

Welcome!

Welcome! My boyfriend, Tyler, and I have decided to start our own blogs. While his is about his adventures in the United States Air Force that is filled with salutes and a plethora of military lingo, mine is more about my side of it all from my point of view as the "Wingman" and the proud girlfriend of an Airman. I will warn you now by saying that my blogs will not entail the exciting discussion about what kind of bomb was tested on that day or how many pushups I had to do at PT, but rather more of a lovey dovey side of this new chapter in our lives and what being devoted to a service man is all about. If you are interested in this you are in the right place, but if you want to know what kind of B-465789 (whatever the number is) type of planes are at Mt. Home AFB...I would transfer yourself back to Tyler's page. I am starting this blog for two reasons, one being so that I can have something that will hopefully be therapeutic for me (as weird as that sounds) and the other reason being so that if for some chance Tyler and I's relationship survives, we will have something to look back on later in life to reminisce about. After all, "these are the days" right? I suppose that even though this blog is open to whoever desires to read it, one of my intentions of starting this blog is not to broadcast the most personal aspects of my life to anyone and everyone. So don't worry, if you are reading this and decide to read on, you will not encounter anything that is censor worthy. It's not going to be like that at all. However, there may be a few patches of sappy lovey-ness. I appologize in advance. I also apologize for any run-on sentences...i am not paying attention to grammar when i write these. I'm just going to type as i think. My sole intention of this is to document this new chapter in our lives and the happenings within this whirlwind of an adventure. Just consider it a blog about a strong friendship fueled with love that is taking the Military by the horns and showing it who's boss! Beating the odds. 181% Enjoy!